Last year I posted two things I learnt in my first two years of marriage, and I said that that would be something I would like to do each year as I celebrate my anniversary. So in today’s post I share the third thing I have learnt in my three years of marriage.
A small recap, the first two things I shared: God is the most important strand – it is He who holds us together, and be you, be real, and be friends!
The third thing I have learnt and I am still learning is the importance of learning to actively listen. It is always so easy to assume what my husband is trying to tell me and instead of listening to what he is actually trying to say, I find myself responding to what I assumed he was going to say.
Listening is crucial in any relationship; it is a good way of showing someone that you care about them and what they are trying to tell you. I am increasingly becoming better and more intentional in listening, and this has meant that sometimes I don’t give an immediate response as I take time to internalize what he was trying to say before I respond. The same applies to my husband, he is also learning to actively listen to what I am saying and not what he assumes I am trying to say.
Before I got married I always had people say marriage is work, and I never really understood what that meant. I kept equating that work to work that we do like our 9 – 5 jobs and the thought of that scared me. I would think about having to do my job, then getting home and having to do another job, sounds tiring right? With maturity comes wisdom – I now know that marriage is work means that it takes effort, it takes intentionality, commitment, sacrifice etc., to make it work.
It would be easier to keep assuming what your spouse is trying to say as opposed to actively listening – the latter takes effort because you have to go an extra mile to ensure that you actually listened to them, and they felt like you listened to them. That is work! But don’t get me wrong it is good and healthy and it is necessary for growth and to show love and appreciation. If you are in a relationship and you are like I was – take time and learn to actively listen to your partner!
Also, it is Easter this weekend and we yet again get to experience the weekend indoors – but let us not forget the reason for the season – that Christ died for us – for our sins, so we could be set free, and He rose again, and today He lives! Love so pure, in as much as we did not deserve it, He chose us and keeps choosing us – that is love!
Here is to a great and blessed month! Thanks for reading!