When I started blogging, I knew that God wanted me to,as He had told me both directly and indirectly (through people) to share my faith. However, I struggled with the why. It took a lot of courage to decide to just start and believe that somewhere along the line I will know why. And so I started – but was not consistent (hello life). Last year, I initially took a break because I had a lot on my plate (work, fellowship), and so I was not able to give it my all. Then, when I was ready to start again life happened, and I moved from a normal pregnancy to a high-risk pregnancy, so blogging was nowhere in my mind.
Last year and even the past two months I have really battled with whether I am ready to blog again. And I had to keep reminding myself that it wasn’t about me, it is not about me, and it will never be about me – IT IS ALL ABOUT GOD! So I opened my heart and ears to what God would want me to do. The past four weeks God has literally been revealing my why to me, He has affirmed me – it has been such an encounter that words would not do it justice. I have cried, I have prayed, I have thanked Him but also asked Him if I am really ready in equal measure. But this week, my heart started accepting my why and accepting to be used by God with a much deeper meaning now.
I have always heard people say, “My purpose was birthed in pain,” and I never used to get it. When I launched the blog it was all pretty, nice photoshoot, congratulatory messages – but my purpose was birthed in pain. And so here I am ready to walk this journey with meaning, understanding that this is part of my why. All I have is trust in Him to carry me through this journey and to get all the glory!
I pray that I am able to be consistent and stay consistent and that my life and words will be a true reflection of God.