Two things I have learnt in my two years of marriage

Genesis 2:24 (New Living Translation)

“This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one”.

Today marks two years since I got married and I can’t help but smile and thank God!

I want to share two things that I have learnt in my two years of marriage. I hope this is something I will be able to do for the next 50 or more years (AMEN!) – To celebrate the beauty of marriage. Marriage is amazing and it is a journey that takes two willing people to walk.

• God is the most important strand – it is He who holds us together

I don’t think this can be stressed enough! Right from the beginning marriage has always been a God idea – as the creator of marriage it is a blessing to involve Him in your marriage. God is the foundation upon which our marriages should be built on. Sometimes when I am in my head, it takes God to speak to me and for me to become humble and accept my mistake and ask for forgiveness – trust me when I say it takes God.

However, you can’t invite Him into your space if you haven’t invited Him into your life. There is a sermon I watched by Pastor Michael Todd (watch his sermons please!!!!!!) and he said that “God needs to be the center of your life first!” We keep working on our relationship with God personally, and then together as a couple – I find it easier to pray for my relationship with my husband when I am also praying for my personal relationship with God.

God is love and through Him we know and experience love that we can show to others – in this case our spouses. He keeps directing us when we are lost, teaches when we need to learn, and humbles us when pride takes over, gives us patience when we want things to go our way, but above all shows us what true love is and how to show it to each other.

Ecclesiastes 4:12

“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

• Be you, be real and be friends

In this world that we live in, everyone has an opinion. I remember when my husband and I first talked about getting married we told each other that we will only pick advise that relates to us. This was really deep for us because we realized that we live in a world that offers so much information and just because the information is there, doesn’t mean we need it. So we have been very deliberate about what we bring into our marriage.

Not everything out there is meant for you – pick what applies to you and run with it! Just because it isn’t working in your marriage doesn’t mean you are failing, it simply means it is not meant for you – and this is okay!

I always tell my friends that I try not to lose myself in my marriage and my husband has made that possible. We are real with each other and that means so much to me, society keeps dictating to me what I need to be and do as a wife. My ways have been judged, I have been overly advised by strangers – and at the end of the day it doesn’t get to me because the one who married me is real with me and discusses his  expectations with me to ensure that they are not beyond my abilities and vice versa. Most importantly, am I pleasing God? Are my ways a reflection of His idea of marriage? If so, let the people talk…

I did a post on Instagram on my husband being my best friend and this is so true! When we were dating we used to talk A LOT and when we got married we still talk A LOT! This has been solid for us because I see him as a friend first and through that friendship we built our love. Wes and I are different in so many ways – but we have come to see our differences as unique, and are slowly learning how to make those differences work for us.

Guys, marriage is beautiful but you must be intentional about it – very intentional. It is not always about the feelings, the butterflies are not always there – but my mind and heart always are.

Like I always say the name Mrs.Wesonga is a name I carry with pride, honor and humility – because it is a name I chose and I keep choosing daily.

Ours is not perfect but it is ours – and I love it because it is ours!